The Death of My Sexuality

Who am I, it is the one question i have been actually asking myself for ages. Am i Straight, definitely No,i sure am attracted to men, Am I Gay, No i don't approve of a gay lifestyle, i have always felt that my sexuality doesn't define me. I cant live like an activist throughout my life, fighting stereotypes and stigmas, i am unashamed to admit that i believe in the concept of family. Am I Bisexual Maybe No because the only attraction towards women i have felt so far is their beauty nothing sexual just admiration. Then who the fuck am i.

Let me look at these three scenarios one by one

Bisexuality: This premise is moot because unless i feel in part Straight i cant come under the category of Bisexual

Straight : I don't think so, this is as yet uncharted waters for me, its a modest way of me saying i am a Straight sex Virgin

Gay : More like it, me thinks But what exactly is Gay, for me Homosexuality and Homosexual experiences are inseparable that is, if you like fucking guys your GAY NOT STRAIGHT. The role you take on in bed with another man has nothing to do with your straightness or gayness. A person in the more dominant role commonly known as Top is AS GAY AS the Bottom- the more submissive role. Dont fool yourself people, if you were straight your dick would be in a vagina not in a guys ass. But the truth is that most people just kid themselves into believing if they were Top they could pass around as Straight not Gay.

So what exactly is a homosexual relationship, how stable is it, how fulfilling are the lives of gay couples vis-a-vis straight couples. Monogyny is the most improbable thing to expect from a modern day homosexual in India. There are only a handful of true lasting homosexual relationships that we as gay men have heard of. As a rule the usual committed relationship validity is 6 months and by then trust issues creep up and most people find new partners The truth is i find such relationships to be fake, they just want hand holding, kissing photos on fb hence the relationship value of such love couples is measured by the amount of likes and shares they receive on fb.  They say you can fool the entire world but you cant fool yourself. A True commitment happens when two people agree to be exclusive to each other life long and are completely trusting with each other.

For me all my previous relationships ended when people asked me my real name. Hehe i know its true i have trust issues and i don't want to divulge specific details about me to another person, i have absolutely no idea how they could use such information, but there are others who don't have these trust issues and for them the only challenge is to remain faithful to each other. That's the tricky part isnt it, we ultimately get attracted to someone else and it all ends there.

But there are true and lasting homosexual relationships in India, people who live together, share rent together, for all intents and purposes this is what i call a couple, gay couples who are married in their own eyes and do not need societies approval in the form of a marriage document. What is commendable is that such couples have shed their inhibitions just like straight couples do after marriage. If you ask me is Gay Love exactly like Straight Love i would say both yes and no. Yes because the same rules apply commitment means you cant love/lust/have sex with someone else. No because its much much harder to be in a gay-relationship.

So do i want the above definition of gay relationship:

Lets see:

Family :I have been very close friends with a lot of guys who i have had sex with, but that doesn't mean i took them home, introduced them to my parents, etc etc or allowed them to live with me permanently. It is one thing to say on FB that you love someone and that your committed, but its a totally different story to be completely committed to that person. I cant bear the fact that me being gay would ruin my family, my parents wouldn't approve, most of my friends would distance themselves from me, people who look up to me would then look down on me, moreover i want children, my children, and i dont want to ruin that prospect.

Religion : Three of the worlds oldest religions, Islam,Christianity and Judaism do not approve of homosexuality, i come under one of these religions and although i don't think i am a devout believer i don't want to risk burning in hell. All three religions state very clearly that homosexual acts are wrong in the eyes of god, I wouldn't feel so guilty if i was an atheist but i do believe in god so i am in a constant state of "fucked-up". There were times in my childhood when i felt cursed, as if god created me this way to punish me, Why couldn't i feel the attraction that my straight friends felt. On may occasions i have attempted suicide, but one needs courage for that too, i am a coward.

Society : With the present scenario in India its not Ok to be Gay, people will ostracize me and i might risk losing my job, a major part of my job is around children. People in India wouldn't understand and i would just end up losing my job. Living in a locality with neighbors would also be a hurdle, people would ask questions and demand answers, if you risk saying the truth you might be publicly humiliated and how long would you go on if you choose to lie.

Progeny : I want a big family, i cant imagine myself 60 years old no kids and smoking on the porch of an old age home.

The Logical Indian : At times like these i wonder what the normal indian guy would do, fuck around till you can then get married to a girl and accept your destiny to live like that or live the secret gay life, fucking around in the dark toilets of busy cities or obscure hotel rooms leading the most hypocritical life imaginable.

My Solution: Well i am not a hypocrite and until such day, when i can figure out my sexuality i have forever put on hold my homosexual involvements, Till i figure out what to do i wont have sex with men, i have been successful for the past 11 months now and will continue my abstinence till i deem it necessary. They say the most important need in any relationship is love, so can i get love without sex if yes i would gladly go for such relationships, and that is exactly what i am doing now.

I wrote this post to went out my feelings and try to formulate my thoughts about this issue, I would love to read your advice in the comments section, share your stories and let me know what you think, This is the first time i have put up a post that doesn't detail my sexual encounters or about anything else, this post is about me, so if you have read my previous blogs or want to tell m
e something please do leave a comment. Blogger allows people to leave comments without even signing in, you just click anonymous and post your comment if you dont have a G+ account.  

India Loves Pakistan : Being Gay in the UAE

The idea of something foreign is always very exciting to almost every Indian, just tell an indian that something is foreign-made and you could see his eyes begin to sparkle and his face glow up. I never knew this held true for sex till the day i saw gay indian men have sex with foreigners. Of course its nothing new if you visit the beaches in kerala during tourist season, you could see scores of young boys throwing themselves at foreigners just to get a feel of that so called "air of freedom" that we so invariable assosiate with foreigners, smooth cigarettes, fine liqour/marijuana and of course awesome sex i am not here to debate if these stereotypes are true or not but just to drive my point let me tell you that it does happen, In my travels i have met a certain "Kichu" who works at a home-stay cum restaurant as helper cum masseur who proudly boasts of the number of italian dicks he has sucked and of the number of british men who have fucked him colonial style. "Kichu" since your real name is not "Kichu" your secrets safe with me.

Back in 2014 my life suddenly changed when i went to the United Arab Emirates in search of work. It was a new country for me i had never traveled outside India either on vacation or otherwise. So when i arrived at DXB international airport i was new to everything new to the "Nol Card" system without which you cannot travel in buses or the metro in dubai, new to the clean streets new to the highrise buildings artificial islands etc, literally for the first one week my eyes would pop at just about anything. I think going to the Gulf countries is almost like a rite of passage for young mallu men, it is something that is very uniquely mallu and we are not ashamed of it, the prosperity in our state has been largely fueled by the lakhs of mallu immigrants/expats living and working in the gulf countries.

So i was picked up at the airport by 5 of my closest college friends and so my 3 month long journey in dubai began, for the more inquisitive readers no i didn't settle in dubai afterwords i came back to india as i got a better offer back home. So after the initial first few days of roaming around and soaking up the sights of Burj Khalifa, Creek, and the scores of malls my friends went back to their busy schedule of work-travel-food-sleep and i was left alone in our 2 bedroom apartment in Al Jafiliya somewhere near the only place i had heard of when i came to dubai "Karama". There were two weeks left for my first interview so i had time to spend and after two days the compass in my dick started pointing northwards.
  
Karama was the only place in Dubai that seemed normal, more like my home country and a place that reminds you of Dubai's past. My frequent visits to Karama taught me two things, Karama is where the most mallus live and Karama has a sizeable gay crowd, another shocker is that because of the affordable housing in this locality you can find people from all nationalities here. The largest group among them is of course pakistanis indians and bangladeshis.

Hooking up in Dubai is easy, usually people think that because of the countries strict Islamic rules all gay dating sites are blocked, but there are ways to cheat the system, of all these the one site that was most useful to me was my fake fb account. I never knew that fb would become such a versatile platform, there were gay groups designated by localities, by racial groups by interests etc. Within the first week of my fake fb's Dubai Avatar i had more than a 1000 friends on my friends list. One particular Filipino guy and i use to chat often and we hit it off instantly the one weird thing was that he didn't give me his number. Mall cruising in Dubai is dangerous, don't try to look for sex in dubai's malls, true the arabs are amazing with their long robes and awesome perfume but they are best viewed from afar, don't forget the police in dubai are omnipresent. But yes it doesn't hurt to go to a mall look at hot arab men with their tight sleeves and long robes, keeps you wondering how well endowed they might be down there, most of the men have stylish beards and great haircuts and are always fascinatingly well dressed. Dubai has no official cruising spot and its best not to try and look for one, although i feel that in dubai the metro rides and stations can be a catalyst for some interesting encounters during late evenings.

So instead of risking myself with getting caught i stuck to fb for my dating needs, truth be told everybody is just looking for sex, as you know homosexuality or acts are not legal in this country so most people just hook up and end of story, there is no proper gay scene and no one acknowledges themselves to be gay. My filipino buddy and i had been chatting for a few days so i asked if we could meet up and if he could finally give me his number, he gave me his number and asked me to meet him in DCC (Diera City Center) which is like a good for nothing mall. When i arrived there i found that it was a mostly family center type of mall and so i chose to hang out by the metro station right next to it, he was late and i was a little anxious and afraid so i kept calling him several times finally he came and i was shocked to see an arab guy instead of someone who had described himself to be filipino, he was in a car so i got in and we drove to the parking lot of the mall, he was dressed in jeans a white sweatshirt with a hoodie looked more like an american punk than an arab, he wasn't slim but you could judge by the contours of his frame that we was athletic and he looked no older than 20 to me, i was impatient to confront him regarding why he lied to me saying he was filipino, but i waited till we got out, he headed straight to the loo, and i followed him he went to the urinal and started to relieve himself i was kind of unnerved because in the back of my head were all these notions, secret police, getting jailed in a foreign country, deportation etc, i took my time scanned the entire loo there was no one there and went and stood right next to him in the adjacent urinal.

Wow what a big cock it was almost 10 inches and super thick and light skinned too, looked like a specimen model to be kept in a museum or something. I instantly wanted to grab on to it but he was saying no with his eyes, its not safe he finally said. As we came out the loo and started walking into the mall i asked him, why he told me he was filipino, he confessed saying he was afraid to admit that he was arab because of the stigma associated with being gay, if his father knew he would kill him, He quickly asked if i was interested to get fucked tonight and i was taken aback by the direct question, thats when i asked how old are you really, seventeen he replied i can pay you if you want he added, now i was angry not only was he dishonest with me about his nationality but also that he was just a rich kid who wanted to fuck me for money, i said i was leaving and was not interested anymore, so i started walking back to the metro station feeling insulted and aroused at the same time, he was hot hot hot no doubt about that, but i was not going to let anyone treat me like that. So i got on the metro and headed for home, i remembered from earlier that day that my friends and i had plans to go to Sharjah so on the way back i got down in Union Metro station to switch on to the Green Line to go to Al Qusias from where i would get a bus to Sharjah.

So i got down in Union and got on to the Green line which was more crowded than usual, it was a beyond my expectation and suddenly this metro coach reminded me of the jam packed Ksrtc busses of my home state, people were standing one behind another in rows which were all facing the door, as the metro reached the next station more people got on than off so now people were literally pressing into each other i could see a lone bead of sweat trickle down the back of the neck of the guy standing in front of me, that's when i noticed that the guy standing in front of me was wearing something very flimsy i could almost feel the strong muscles of his buttocks press against my thigh, he had the familiar smell of attar(an indian fragrance) so i assumed he was probably some north indian going back from work, at the next station i noticed that the crowd had reduced a little and this guy would just not move in front where there was more space he was deliberately brushing against my dick which was already hard after i knew he wasn't wearing any underwear, that's why i could so easily feel him, i reached into my jeans to fetch my phone  and intentionally brushed against his ass cheeks which were like a soft pillow wobbling at the slightest touch. He also made an attempt to grab me when he tried to run his hand along his back pretending to adjust his kurta, finally my station came and i got out and saw his cute face, i was sure he was pakistani, sharp features, pink lips and straight long hair, as it was now time to go i looked straight into his eyes with sadness as i knew that this would go nowhere, but surprisingly he was also getting out and both of us looked at each other and smiled. Obviously the first question we asked each other was Are you an Indian/Pakistani, we introduced ourselves, his name was Qaasim and i think from there we hit it off, although we rode the escalator back to ground level in complete silence, there was this palpable undercurrent of chemistry between us.

We started talking about our cultures and countries instantly,  he said he loved Indian Movies and i said i loved Pakistani Dhabba food, we spoke of the enmity our countries have for each other and how this is like a fire that is kept alive by our politicians, as individuals we have no hate for each other, indians and pakistanis are long lost brothers. He invited me to his room which was nearby and i met some of his roommates who were all very nice, i went on to Sharjah from there after exchanging numbers with him, we stole a kiss in the staircase while going down as we knew with his roommates there nothing else was possible. Over the next two weeks i met him thrice, he was a complete versatile like me, the sex was passionate and romantic although in the first try his thick brown dick was a bit too much for my ass and i needed generous amounts of lube which he seemed to have a stock of. His ass was as soft as his ass cheeks my dick would just slide right in, it was not as painful for him as his dick was for me. I had always imagined that if i had sex with a pakistani man i would get raped, ass pounding of sorts but this was the most romantic sex that i had ever had, while i was fucking him, he would ask me to go slower, it was almost like he taught me to fuck just like him, gentle and smooth. Patience and Respect is the secret to passionate sex. In between the fucking when we would passionately kiss each other he would let out a soft moan and it was as if the warm air that escaped his mouth as he exhaled contained magic that made
me horny. The nights and days spend with him were my best times in Dubai, i began to appreciate a people who i had for so long been taught to despise, Even after years i still remember the friendly and at home feeling i experienced when i was around him.

My three month stay in Dubai was cut short in the third week when i got a excellent job offer back home in India. So i had to return with memories of my Pakistani Love,                          
I miss you Qaasim. 

The CallBoys of Kochi

Prostitution is undoubtedly by far the "Oldest Profession" in the world. No wonder accounts of prostitutes can be found in holy texts, historical records and mythological epics. Prostitution as defined by Wikipedia "is the business or practice of engaging in sexual relations in exchange for payment or some other benefit"

Somehow in real life we dilute this definition and shape it to suit our needs. For example an older guy who loves fucking young boys thinks its ok because in return the younger guy accepts mobile recharges, occasional gifts, treats and in some cases the occasional booze treats. Let me make it categorically clear that in the above case this younger chap is a prostitute, no ifs no buts Period. After months of being on "fake-fb" (fb profile under a fake identity) i have learnt that most of the young subscribers here are looking for slightly older bros (chettanmar) who can provide them with free recharges, new clothes and occasionally the company of mid-20 dudes who booze and smoke and make these adolescent chaps look cool on their Facebook profiles and in return they reward these mid-20 dudes with sex. I am not here to judge the moral implications of such action. These younger chaps are fully aware of what they are doing and if they choose to do so willingly, who am i to judge.

But what shocks me the most is the fact that to what extent people go to get what they want. Has money become so important that these young kids trade their bodies for it. and the fact that so many guys are doing this makes it even more questionable. I don't condemn prostitutes, primarily because i believe no one willingly gets into the trade, But when i refer to these new age "Call boys" i condemn their action as they are much more well off when compared to conventional prostitutes, they are well educated, capable of earning on their own, legally but somehow they take advantage of the loose morals of today's working class.

This next post is the account of one such Call boy named "Siyad". On the outside he is a simple sales guy, working in a small plastic manufacturing company and that's how i know him. Oh of course i need to tell you something about me, i am 27 and i work for a plastic manufacturing company that supplies industrial use plastic pipes and fittings. He works for a smaller company that sells smaller components to bigger companies like the one i work in. Hence whenever he comes to our company he always seems desperate, he needs to meet his targets to get paid and he tries really hard as there are very few companies in kerala that buys the components that his company makes.

Siyad-Sex in your Apartment Daily. 

I joined this company as a merchandiser and it is my job to hunt for quality, reliable and economically priced components that my company needs.When i initially started at this job i was surrounded by old chaps. Pot bellies and clean, neatly ironed shirts. Its basically a sales industry that doesn't require any major travelling in the sun but has an adequate amount of pressure as big companies like ours quickly change our sources as we would always prefer to source from companies who can provide us components which are cheaper at the same quality level.

In the last one year, i have seen a major change in the age group of the sales guys of our bidding companies, most companies have fired all their pot bellied staff and replaced them with young guys who are ready to work for much lesser salaries and much higher targets, this means that every time a bidding process takes place, our office looks like a college arts fest, strikingly handsome guys come in looking like they have been in a cross-country run, sweaty shirts and body odour mixed with deodorant. The always peaceful looking pot bellied middle aged salesmen have been replaced by young perfect figure boys who look perpetually worried about their targets.Usually i need not attend these bidding processes as i have been assigned to handle bigger deals and there is an assistant merchandiser who handles smaller bids but on occasion when he is not present i need to do smaller bids also.

This incident happened in our Trivandrum office about 6 months back and opened my eyes to the world of homosexual prostitution. The assistant merchandiser had met with an accident over the weekend and i was unprepared for what i saw when i walked into our office in the morning, i was surprised to see so many young guys flooding in for the bidding process. I had to employ the usual delaying tactics and announced that the bidding was postponed and would only start the next day, there was instant disappointment on everyone's faces as many had traveled great distances just to get there. Slowly everyone emptied out of the room and i received a call from the assistant merchandiser saying that he could not come for 1 week. Now that left me with no choice but to conduct the bidding process myself on the next day, so i began preparing myself  going through the files trying to find out what the requirement was when suddenly a young guy came bursting into the room, he looked no more than 19 years of age and was visibly sweating like a pig, "bidding kazhinjo chetta" (is the bidding over) he asked almost short for breath. I took a moment to scan him up and down before i replied. He was a dark brown colored guy, almost 5ft9inches tall slim body, he was wearing a half sleeve black denim shirt and blue jeans tucked in loosely under his belt. He smelt of sweat and dirt and seemed like he had been running just to get here on time. There were beads of sweat trickling down his beautiful face and hands, he had the most sexy hands i had ever seen, slightly muscular not too much muscles just exactly enough to make me horny, you could see the veins on his hands protruding like they were ready to burst out. His shirt was stained with the salt deposits in his sweat but if you ask me he looked just Yum!!!.

I replied after a rather long wait, saying that the bidding process was postponed and would be held only on the next day. He looked relived as he heard the news and i asked him to sit down and offered him a glass of water. He said that he was from XYZ Co, and i instantly recognized the brand name as i remember how many times i had rejected their deals as they always put forth substandard products. Usually the sales guy from their company was a middle aged guy who seemed too lazy to strike a deal whenever the bidding took place and i was actually relieved that they changed their staff. He excused himself as he said that he had to leave and find accommodation as he was from Kannur and needed to stay the night in Trivandrum.

Trivandrum Lodge  
Although i get paid a decent amount as salary, i hardly get reimbursed adequately for my stay in the cities that i travel to, so i choose to take cheap lodges so that whenever i travel it doesn't burn a hole in my pocket. At Trivandrum i usually stay in U-Lodge in Thampanoor which is a run down lodge with just the basic facilities, a tv, an attached bathroom and a clean bedsheet. But everyone who takes a room there knows fully well that the lodge is frequented by prostitutes and people who are looking for some "fun" in trivandrum, the room costs just 300 rupees and no one really questions you a lot at the reception. The flooring is basic red-lead oxide and looks like a old kerala house, the bathrooms although attached have common windows, so one could almost hear what is going on in the other bathroom. I frequently stay at this lodge so the receptionist knows me and always gives me the same room which i know for sure is the best room there. There is only one other room on that floor so i usually dont have any noisy neighbours. 

It was a busy day at office and i reached the lodge at 9pm and quickly wanted to take a bath and go out for dinner. I am usually a very quite walker and i don't make too much noise as i move around, this helps me get into rooms and places pretty much unnoticed, so i slid into my room and turned on the light just as i opened the bathroom door i noticed that there was this weird sound emanating from the adjacent bathroom it was a strange sound, the sound of someone struggling with something almost as if the person was going through a certain painful situation, soon that sound was followed by the sound of slapping thighs,now this sound was in such regular intervals that i figured out what it was. I was instantly overjoyed as i knew someone was having sex in the other bathroom. Usually i dont get a hard-on instantly but this time i was fully erect just by thinking who the guy fucking in the other room might be so i crouched into the bathroom without turning on the light and tried eavesdropping into my new neighbors private life.

After a few minutes of the same sounds slowly i heard a very deep voice say "Nalla hard ayyi Adikyada" (Can u Hit Harder) soon the sound of slapping thighs grew intense and the deep voice seemed to groan with delight, i was on cloud nine as i knew this was gay sex, Soon a softer voice said in a commanding voice "thirinju irikyu njaan vayil tharaam" (turn around i will give it in your mouth). Now the sounds of slapping thighs stopped and what i heard next was the sound of the immense pleasure of releasing cum. I knew it was game over so i moved out of the bathroom and opened the front door. I found nobody out side so i got back into my room. Then i went about my usual things as i had to get ready, after taking a bath i got out of my room and went downstairs to go out for dinner. It was then that i remembered that i had forgotten my wallet so grudgingly i headed back to my room taking the same flight of stairs when i noticed two people coming down from my floor, i instantly knew that they were the people from the bathroom scene, but i had to act like i didn't know anything, so i mostly glanced at the floor and tried to avoid eye contact with the person coming down the stairs. I could barely make out that it was a 40 something guy with a pot belly and dark sunglasses covering his face intentionally (who wares sunglasses at night anyway) the second guy was slim and tall and i was trying hard not to look directly at him but as soon as he came down to the same stair step as i was he said hi, i looked at him in surprise. I said hi , instantly recognizing him to be Siyad the sales guy in my office this morning. I quickly said that i was living on the next floor and had to go to my room and that i would see him tomorrow, i quickly left as i didnt want my silly face to express the big secret. Siyad was gay Oh My God!!!! he was so damn sexy i almost was certain he was straight. I was literally jumping with joy. I rushed to my room and rushed downstairs but they had already left and i was like shit !!! what a loss.

I spent the rest of the evening roaming through East Fort Trivandrum, suddenly this boring city seemed like a pretty good place. My mind was constantly fixating on Siyad, he looked different this time, he was neatly dressed in a tee shirt and jeans and he smelt so nice, probably a good deodorant, He had taken a bath and look like a cute baby. His skin looked like it was made of chocolate, dark chocolate. i remembered that he was wearing a bulky wrist watch that was black metal possibly expensive maybe Fossil or Police. He didn't look like the desperate young sales guy which i saw in the morning, the person i met on the stairs was happy and confident. Soon i got bored of drifting aimlessly through the city so i headed back to my lodge, On the way to my lodge there is this cheap beer and wine parlor which was one of the oldest bars of Thampanoor i was not in a mood to drink, but for some strange reason i entered the bar and lit a cigarette. As i walked about smoking i saw a familiar face through the window of the bar, Siyad was sitting alone drinking beer, i instantly wanted to leave as it wouldn't be nice if i had to go in, ultimately he was a bidder and our relationship was purely professional, i guess i took too much time to think, and he saw me and called out to me asking me to join him. I was lucky the second time today. So i sat down beside him and ordered a beer for myself and i started to ask him about his job etc etc he asked me a lot of questions about my job and life and as the conversations progressed and a few more bottles came and went by we could say that we knew each other. I wish i could have left it at that. Oh how i wish i would have shut my mouth and kept my secret but i was too drunk, too uninhibited that i blankly asked him who the other guy was who came down the stairs. Out came a lie, "Uncle". Bullshit i knew he was not his uncle, i knew i had no right to ask more but i kept asking more questions. I could see that siyad had become uncomfortable with me asking too many questions so i shut my mouth for a while and then siyad asked me "Entha chetta ingane chothinkyunne" (Why are you asking me like this, brother). I was too drunk to notice that i didn't reply for a long time and that i was hanging my head low and not looking at his face and that was making him more uncomfortable, after sometime i looked up and said "eda ennik bathroomilude sound kelkayirnnu" (i could hear the sounds through the bath room) Before he could reply the waiter came with the bill, i took the bill but siyad snatched it from my hand and took off towards the cash counter. After leaving the bar we walked back to our lodge in utter silence.

He seemed terrified by the fact that i knew his secret but i was amazed by how smartly he choose to keep silent after i revealed that information. Seeing that i was not asking more question he changed the topic and began asking me about our deal after sometime we reached our lodge and our floor and we had to part ways. So i got into my room my head was reeling and my chest was warm with all the beer in my body. I just lay on the bed thinking about Siyad. I was too drunk to notice that i had fallen asleep and forgot to switch off the light...I slept peacefully but i was rudely awakened by a loud knock on the door. "Chetta......chettan vannu door adiky" (get up and close the door brother) with one eye completely shut i peeped through the other eye i could vaguely see Siyad dressed in just a Mundu white with red checks folded up revealing his legs. i got up quickly noticing a stranger in my hotel room and my door unlocked.

I was still dazed and sleepy but i stood up and asked him what the time was, he said 1pm, i asked him why he hadn't slept yet, he replied "tension ayyi poyi chettan ellam arinjalle" (i was tense thinking that you know everything). i immediately hugged him saying that it was ok and i would not tell anyone, as i hugged him both of us noticed that my cock was rock hard and poking at his legs, he instantly smiled and said "chettanne ennik ishtamayyo" (r u interested in me) i smiled shyly and said yes. we both sat down on the bed and he placed his hands on my thighs and started rubbing his hands on them trying to get me into the mood. i was not resisting at all and soon he was rubbing my dick and gently pressing my balls. i pulled him towards the bed and asked him to lie down on my chest. "Chetta i am a Callboy" he confessed. i was shocked out of my senses and waited for sometime before i replied .....so how much did that uncle pay you ....2000 rupees he replied. I sat up on the bed still trying to take in all the information i had recieved.

For the next 2 hours we just lay in bed taking about how siyad had got into the sex trade. Siyad was 23 years old and he had his first paid gay sex with a college roomates uncle, he was late to arrive at his college hostel one night and so his roommate asked his uncle to allow siyad to spend the night at their house, siyad had never imagined how this one night would change his life,
Uncle took siyad home and gave him a room and asked him to take a bath after his bath this uncle was standing there outside the door and as soon as he came out he hugged siyad and since siyad had had many gay experiences before he knew exactly what uncles intentions were, so he allowed uncle to go on ....uncle sucked siyad's 8 inch cock and drank his milk siyad was overjoyed, he had never got such superb sucking in his life and no body till date had ever drank his cum. Uncle left the room after taking his number and asked siyad to come to his room a little later after about half and hour he got a miscall and so siyad got up and went to the master bedroom and saw that uncle and his wife were having sex, uncle pulled siyad by the hand and asked him to stand in between his wife and him. siyad had never had sex with a girl before but was very excited to see such big boobs and smooth body, he instantly became hard and put his arms around aunty, aunty was resiting at first but soon uncle pulled siyads pants down and aunty saw his thick 8 inch dick, uncle's dick was just 4 inches and siyad soon understood why aunty was so unsatisfied, he started to fuck aunty in front of uncle and it took him a long time to cum as uncle had earlier already drank most of his cum. 3 months after this incident he got a call from uncle again but this time he said he couldn't come because he didn't have any money, so uncle started offering him cash for sex. Siyad soon opened a fake-fb and a pr account where he openly proclaimed he was a call boy, soon he got lots of offers from uncles, couples, cds for paid sex , in 5 years he had sex with almost 30 people this way and he was happy that he could buy whatever he wanted with all the money he was making, some people especially couples also gave him a few gifts, one couple also asked him to give them a baby as they could not have a baby on their own. He didnt like gay sex so much and he would always prefer meeting couples instead of single men, but if someone was ready to pay him a good amount he would be ready for it. In 5 years he had earned a good amount of money  this way and he would regularly post on fb advertising his services, by now he had many followers and many couples would even recommend him, because of his stamina and thick dick, he even told me that once he fucked a brother and sister in the same night. I cant guarantee that all this is true but i know for a fact that what i heard in the bathroom that night was true and most of what he was saying might be true. A person who earns less than Rs 10,000 a month cannot own an iPhone and a Police wrist watch with that salary, while browsing through the pictures on his mobile i saw his house, and pictures of his parents, they were simple people who could never afford to buy their son an iPhone. We slept in my room that night after discussing his life in detail, we obviously did not have sex that night as by then he had already given me a handjob,  i didnt want sex also because i didn't want to be number 32 on his list of clients. In the morning as we both got and left for office and that was the last time i ever saw him, we are still friends, but we just chat on the phone and watsapp nothing more.

PS: Sometimes the truth is too hard to digest, but i assure you i have narrated events exactly as they happened, no masala, no drama.

Politics, Kundans and Domination

There is no secret formula for homosexuality, there may be catalysts that are common in many cases but there is no black and white equation that one could create to define who is homosexual.  The kind of sex we have doesn't define us nor the people we have sex with.  This leaves lots of room for experimentation some people choose to explore their sexuality some don’t. Some choose to comply by stereotypes while others choose to be defined by the pleasure they receive. My next post is one such story, a story of an ordinary boy who through circumstance goes through an extraordinary experience that is both wild and kinky.

For Manu

I hope I have done justice to your story. Thank you for opening up your world to me, sharing your home, watching your homemade videos and listening to your detailed narratives has greatly influenced the formation of this post. Once again there are no lies or masala here; this is the truth about a person’s sexuality laid bare. The aim of this narrative is not to create a bed-time good-to-shag story but to tell you the deepest secrets of a sexual minority.

Manu
To the unsuspecting eye manu is just an ordinary artist, thin frame almost malnutritioned, dark librarian glasses, long hair down to his waist, serious look and a cloth bag slung on this shoulder. He is part of the “Arty” community at thrissur and he passed out of the Government Fine Arts College at Thrissur and is an acclaimed painter and dramatist. He is also famous on Facebook as lots of new age “freakens” love to shoot him because of his long hair and sharp looks. His Fb page has almost 2000 female followers (don’t know if it’s true because fb doesn’t really open everyone’s pants to check before opening profiles) But the funny thing is Manu is gay, Absolute and Uncompromising, people usually assume that artists don’t get married because that’s the way they are but the truth here is a little different. Manu is your average versatile enjoying the ups and downs of his sexuality; he is very discreet and never puts up any pictures on his Planetromeo profile. He never even meets guys from thrissur and chooses to keep his profile in Kochi or Kozhikode. I met manu through one such meeting in Kochi.

Thrissur 2015

Manu had always been politically inclined and although he never aimed at contesting elections or leading any political party his views conformed to a well known political party in kerala and he was an ardent fan of this party. (For fear of getting beaten up i am withholding the name of this political party). Manu always had a busy schedule exhibitions, theatre workshops, seminars etc ...etc but he almost always found time to attend all the area meetings and discussion of the party. On one such meeting he was asked to attend a seminar in Trivandrum where representatives of the youth wing of the party from various districts were slated to attend. For some reason Manu was asked to go that year. 

This was not his first trip to Trivandrum, he was well aware of all the theatres and parks and secret meeting places of gays in Trivandrum, but this trip was not for pleasure, and manu was always very serious about his dedication to the party. He arrived in Trivandrum early in the morning and was greeted at the railway station by party seminar organizers. They showed him the hotel where he would be staying for the next three days and left saying that the seminar would begin at 1pm sharp. Manu looked around the room, it was a double bed room with beds beside opposite walls and a single window in between and a small yet clean attached bathroom.  As manu was tired after the long journey he almost instantly fell asleep. He was rudely woken up an hour later when some organisers walked in and dropped another delegate for the seminar, although he was half asleep he wished the delegate and the organizers and as soon as they left, without saying a word manu fell back into his bed and his eyelids shut again.

There is that moment just before you wake up, when you are aware of the sounds, smell and movements in your immediate surroundings, your eyes are not fully open but you have blurred, near sighted vision. It was in that moment that manu first saw Shyam. Shyam was the delegate who was dropped in when manu had been woken up from his sleep and because manu was too sleepy he had hardly glanced up to see the delegates’ face. Manu was not fully awake yet and through the curtains of his eye he caught a glimpse of a tall semi-muscular man who was naked except for a thin towel (nadan vella thorthu) wrapped around his thin lower body. This guy was not gym-muscular by definition but looked like the kind of man who is used to hard labour and his body was toned because of the kind of work he did, another strange thing was that his torso was V shaped slightly extended shoulders, nice wing muscles under his arms flat stomach not ripped but showing signs of clear cut abs whenever he bent down and athletic thighs and slim not so muscular legs. As this guy walked out of the bathroom manu could see the outline of a sleeping 5 inch dick that was bouncing as he walked. The material of the towel was so thin that he could also make out the colour of this guys dick.  After watching all this which idiot would go on sleeping, manu began to gradually wake up pretending to be very sleepy and trying not to scare off his new roommate by waking up too quickly.  He gradually arranged his mundu around his waist and sat up in bed, still rubbing at his eyes acting like he is in no mood to see his new roommate change. The delegate introduced himself as Shyam from Wayanad and inquired about manu and where he as from. All the while Shyam was busy changing unmindful of manu’s watchful eye. First he bent down to let his underwear slide into his legs and he turned around and slowly pulled the blue unbranded kerala made underwear onto his  ass and pulled the towel from around his waist. He then wrapped a neatly ironed white mundu around his waist and sat down to talk to manu.

Shyam was almost 35, divorced, no children, he was a devout follower of the party like manu, they started talking politics and immediate they struck a chord. Shyam was many years senior to manu more experienced, well read and more practical in his approach to many things, manu on the other hand was young, rebellious and hot blooded. Somehow they shared a great chemistry together and their conversation grew deeper and they lost track of time. Manu had already forgotten about the near-naked ramp walk earlier and his mind was now completely focused on the conversation and not Shyams body.

So they rushed to the seminar venue as they were already 30 minutes late and they  got a adjacent seats, as both of them were ardent fans of what was being presented they sat through the entire programme. Throughout the programme they noticed that most people just listened inattentively got up in between and left for suspiciously long periods of time. Manu went out to find out why and he found that the men’s toilet full of alcoholics, they was a small parlour adjacent to the toilet and almost 50 people were in it, there was cigarette smoke everywhere, liquor bottles, soda was all over that room as though it was a bar. Manu spoke to an elderly party supporter who told him that this was normal, the youth wing usually organize these seminars as an excuse for getting drunk and meeting up with old friends. This makes the party internally strong it seems. Shyam and manu walked back together after the seminar was over and they immediately decided they needed to celebrate. Shyam’s brand was OMR something that Manu detested but somehow that night he agreed.

They sat down to drink almost immediately after changing, shyam changed into trousers and a thin  shirt while manu choose to wear a tee shirt and mundu, they had already ordered food and they needed nothing more until the next day. As the bottles opened and drinks flowed the conversations and small political debates between them became more and more intense, manu was in awe of Shyam , he had never met someone who was so motivated and so inspired by the values of the party. Shyam was also very impressed by manu’s dedication and he admitted that there were very few youngsters like him. Shyam was  a good singer and as the bottles started to get empty his songs became more and more frequent, he was like a young school kid, free and uninhibited, he drank a lot swayed a lot but, Manu on the other hand was a very sly drinker he almost always never got drunk he loved being sane when everyone else around him had lost their senses. Shyam was singing one of his folk songs and dancing along with manu when suddenly shyam accidently pushed manu towards the wall and manu hit his head on the window frame. Manu felt a sharp pain on his head and he immediately ran his fingers through his hair to see if there was any bleeding. The sudden pain caused an immediate change in his expression and shyam was instantly sorry, he apologized and closed the window and asked manu to sit down on his bed, he then checked manu’s scalp for any bleeding and kept apologizing over and over again, he was too drunk to notice that manu’s pain had subsided and that he was ok. Thats when it happened Shyam leaned in and kissed manu on the lips it was not a horny kiss but it was just a “i am sorry” kiss, it was too short to call it sexually arousing. But manu was so delighted by the kiss that he shamelessly said “chettan enne onnude kiss cheyyuo” (will you kiss me again)

Shyam held manu’s head in his hands and leaned forward and kissed manu passionately, this time there was no holding back, shyam knew that manu was sexually attracted to him, he had noticed how manu was staring at him all throughout the seminar. Manu on the other hand was overjoyed, he was getting exactly what he wanted. But after a few minutes of kissing, passionate hugging and groping shyam suddeny stopped “inni vendada inni continue cheythal control vittu pokum” (lets stop before i lose control) manu replied “control vittu pokkote chetta ennike chettane  venam”(please lose control i want you badly). Shyam pushed manu away and said that manu would reget it later and that he was not into romantic sex, he preferred hardcore fun with a bit of domination. He explained that he would not be aroused unless manu was ready for total submission and was ok by being treated like a slave. Manu was bombarded by too much information he had obviously heard of this before but never in his wildest dreams had he though he would participate in such an act. Shyam explained that it was only limited to sexual acts in bed and that he would treat him in the same way as before when they were not having sex. Seeing Manu’s confusion shyam started to convince manu , Shyam hadn't had sex in a while as it was difficult to find gays who preferred total submission, he was tired of shagging after watching porn videos on his mobile, he was greatly into the S&M concept. With whatever little that manu knew about this he decided to go ahead but he laid down a few basic conditions, no blood ,no urinating or dirty sex, no burning, just normal submissive sex.

Shyam agreed and asked manu to undress completely, manu started to undress and felt awkward as shyam was not in a hurry to undress and he simply sat down on a chair and lit a cigarette. After manu was completely naked shaym asked him to crouch on the floor on all four limbs. Shyam then took a piece of rope from his bag and tied manu’s arms around his back. He then asked manu to kneel between his legs, manu was also eager to see the thick black cock that he had seen between the towel earlier that day. Shyam took out two clips from his bag and attached both of them on to manu’s sharp tointy nipples, manu was crying in pain as the clips were pressing too hard on his nipples and he was unable to do anything as his hands were tied, immediately shyam took out a thin black cloth out of his bag and tied it around manu’s eyes. Now manu could see nothing, his hands were tied for the first time he felt fear of what he had gotten into. Shyam pulled out his cock and with the smell of sweat and precum  and the sound of the zipper manu understood that the cock was out of the bag. Shyam took one hand and pulled manu’s head by his hair onto his rock hard cock. Shyam had a 10 inch cock but manu could not see what he was sucking, shyam thrusted manu’s mouth deeper and deeper into his cock, manu was unable to take so much and he gagged and slightly vomited a bit, some of it fell on shyam’s trousers, immediately manu felt a sharp hard slap across his face, manu was too confused to react “chetta adikyallle” (don't hit me please) he cried. “Nee ende pattiya, njaan enthe parayaum nee ansarikyanam” (your my bitch you will do exactly what i tell you) shyam thrusted his cock back into manu’s mouth and a few minutes later manu was willingly sucking shyam like a robot.

After getting tired of getting sucked shyam asked manu to stand up and he led him to the bed and threw him onto it. He untied manu’s hands and tied them again onto the frame of the bed, manu was lieing on his stomach and was bildfolded and could not see what was happening behind him, there was a long pause as shyam was getting completely undressed, he then mounted on top of manu and manu felt something wet on his ass crack, shyam had dropped spit on to manu’s ass crack to smoothen his cock’s entry. With one swift motion he inserted almost 3 inches of his cock into manu’s ass, manu was crying in pain his crying was so loud that shyam had to cover his mouth, he then came close to manu’s ears and said “onnumillada kutta ippol kerum, nee onnu adjust cheyy” (dont worry my cock will go in , just adjust a bit) when manu’s crying stopped shaym spat a little more saliva and entered his cock again, only 4 inches went in this time but shyam did not pull out his cock this time, instead he removed the clips from manu’s nipples and started rubbing them manually with his hands, the pain of the clips had subsided when manu was sucking shyam, but when the clips were off the very touch of shyams hands were causing manu pain in the exact same spot where the clips had been. What manu didnt realise that the pain on his nipples made him forget the pain in his ass. Shyam pushed deeper and every time manu started crying in pain he would pull manu’s nipples again making him forget the pain in his ass. This went on for about 10 minutes, both of them were sweating like pigs and shyams 10 inch dick was still not completely in manu’s ass.

Shyam pulled out his dick and manu felt his ass going back to its original form. Shyam turned manu around and pulled out his blindfold and untied him. Manu was free to run but by now didn't want to, he now for the first time caught sight of shyams giant dick, it was full 10 inches thick and pointy head his dick was so thick that it looked almost bigger than his thighs “ ithokke enganee kondu nadakunnu” (how are you able to walk around with this) manu asked then voluntarily started sucking shyam and after a while he asked shaym to lie down, he then climed over  him and started adjusting himself onto shyam’s cock.

Slowly and painfully his was completely covering shyams dick, shaym was overjoyed , his dick got the feeling of being completely covered in someones ass, Shyam turned manu over and made him lie on his back with legs raised and then he inserted his cock again and it went smoothly in, manu was in heaven, his ass hurt but he was also feeling a kind of pleasure no other Top Gay was able to give him before. Shyam was a brutal fucker and his strokes were hard and fast, the noise of his cock balls slapping against manu’s ass could be heard, but shyam was in no intention to stop, shyam was about to cum and he turned manu’s face to the side and pressed his one hand onto manu’s face and the other onto the bed. Shyam was unable to breath,“Chetta shwasam muttunnu” (i am unabe to breath) , shyam then incresed his spead and frequency of his strokes and finally came into manu’s ass he then wispered into manu’s ear “aranjkondallada aa moodil anganee ayyi pokkum” (i am not doing it intentionally it just happens when  i am in the mood). After pulling his dick out of manu’s ass he could see the cum oozing out of manu’s ass it dripped and stained the bedsheet manu got up and was surprised to see he had cum out involuntarily and the white milky liquid was oozing out of his dick and ass at the same time.

They got up and took a bath together and since manu’s bed was unusable they slept together in shyams bed that night, manu was amazed to see how different shyam was in real life after sex , he was always kissing and hugging manu romantically as if nothing out of the ordinary had ever happened, manu tried asking about shyams past and how he had got into this but shyam never divulged any details.

The next day manu was not able to go the seminar for obvious reasons, shyam went for it alone and when he came back told manu everything that happened, they spent the next two days in trivandrum participating in dialogues and discussions as part of the seminar . On the last night manu asked if shyam wanted to have sex again and he said NO.

PS: There is more to this story but if i keep writing no one will read, just wanted to share something that i felt was wild and shocking. Manu is still an amazing guy and my good friend.    

Three Pegs Down

I've never really understood the classification of homosexual roles in bed.......The Top & The Bottom....That's why i simply choose to stay on the middle path and say that i am Versatile. Generally Tops are the guys who don't suck but love to get sucked and they love to fuck ass. Bottoms are the ones who love to suck and want to get their asses fucked by Tops. Being Versatile is awesome no rules you can do whatever you want. But truth about online dating is that most guys who say their versatile turn out to be tops and true bottoms don't need to lie by saying their versatile.

So who is the True Versatile...one who doesn't mind sucking or getting sucked, someone who enjoys getting fucked as much as he likes fucking...one who doesn't say things like "Sorry i don't do that" Total-Mutual and Reciprocative Sex. Obviously there are only a handful of true Versailles out there and i am forever in search of one. Shockingly i found one such guy in the most unlikely of places.

Adoor 2014

I have always been found of the Outdoors and the idea of having sex outdoors is thrilling, adventures and yet dangerous. With the help of this famous gay-cruising spots site nicknamed "Oh-M" i have found numerous gay spots throughout India and shockingly a huge list from Kerala. While some gay spots where completely fake and i narrowly escaped getting beaten up, some turned out to be a gay heaven. My most favorite spot was the Sunil Movies theater in Vytilla-Kochi but almost a year back they closed down. But lucky me a new place pops up every now and then. One such place is a movie theater near Adoor lets call it S-Cinema. This place is rarely crowded except on Sundays and this theater shows only "R" rated movies in short its a porn movie theater.

I have been to S- Cinemas many times and most of the time i find a way to have quick, meaningless sex with random strangers. This ensures i am relieved of the testosterone surge and is safe because i don't need to really introduce myself or get to know the person. One such Saturday when i went to S-Cinemas i was there about an hour in advance and that left me with some time to spend before the next show could start and since i didn't want to raise any suspicious looks by simply walking up and down the road i decided to get into this bar which was right next to the theater. Normally i don't drink alone, but there are those moments when you need a drink minus the chit-chat.

So i entered the bar and went straight for the Non-AC section because that's where the drinks are cheap and the most crowded i though i would blend in but i found that even though the bar looked really classy on the outside inside it was a different story, it was full of truck drivers and laborers and old drunkards. So i bought my drink and went to the far end of the bar in a dimly lit corner table. There was literally no one there as most people were busy buying drinks and crowding around the bar counter. After reaching halfway through my drink i noticed that a young guy was sitting opposite me and because of the lighting i had not been able to see him, he was engrossed in his drink and i could barely see his face but i noticed his soda bottle was empty and he was frustrated as he had almost 2 pegs left in his bottle so he got up was about to leave when i called out to him "Soda alle vende, Enike ethrem venda share cheyam" I didnt need the complete bottle of soda that i had and i gestured to him to join me he hesitated at first but then he joined me along with his bottle.

We started talking and he introduced himself as Akhil he was 21 years old and said that he was an auto driver and was just back from a long trip and was not going to take any more rides today so was finishing his day with a few drinks. He was lean not very tall and was really really dark, but there was something extremely good looking about him even though he was dark skinned his skin glowed and he had a really cute face and his shirts first three buttons were unbuttoned and his auto driver shirt- the khaki was folded and kept on the side. As i kept sipping my drink my eyes explored his chest, he was lean guy not very muscular and the only thing noticeable on his chest were the handful of chest hair and those two pointy nipples, they stood out as though he had just had a cold water bath. Suddenly he caught me staring at his chest and he said that he had never had the opportunity to drink with a guy like me, most of his drinking buddies were fellow auto drivers. I asked him what he meant by a guy like me he answered that i looked educated and that i probably had a good job "Ningal Glamouralle" I laughed and said "Jeeviche Pokkote Mashe". Shoo i couldn't control the urge to hug him and feel the warmth of his chest and smell him the alcohol was making me horny but as i had finished my drinks i got up and said that i was leaving and that it was nice meeting him. Sometimes it feels so strange when you want someone so badly but you know nothing can happen and you need to walk away.

So i walked out of the bar, my head buzzing and my body in a happy mode, i went straight to the theater as it was time for the show to start and i took a seat in the last row. The theater was not crowded that night and there were only a handful of people there mostly old chaps and i was thinking to myself that my day was wasted and that i wouldn't find any guys. So i decided to go outside for a smoke and as the movie was a boring  porn video of some bangladeshi laborers having group sex with some middle aged woman.As i walked out and turned towards the backside of the theater i noticed all the usual places where guys meet, the dark corridor along the side of the theater that leads to a bushy area in the backside of the theater, there was a gents toilet located right at the back much to the advantage and the naughty intentions of the theaters gay crowd. Just as i was about to enter the toilet someone stepped out and i was shell shocked to see Akhil.

He smiled both surprised and embarrassed at the same time. "Appol evideaum varumalle" (So you come here too) he asked in a naughty yet matter of fact kind of way. I quickly replied saying i was bored and thought of watching a "kambi padam" but the film was boring. "Onnu kunna chapikyanum arumilla ellam kelavanmara" he said (There is no one here who'll suck Just a bunch of Old guys") I laughed because i was both amused at his style of speaking and relived that he was looking for the same thing i was looking for. Just then a middle aged man probably in his mid 30's came by and eyed us suspiciously and got into the toilet. A moment later he peeked from inside the toilet and beckoned that we join him. Akhil instantly seized the opportunity and went in and i was left outside with no chance but to follow Akhil inside. When i walked inside i saw Akhil's pants were down on his knees and the middle aged guy was crouching and forcing his face violently against Akhil's cock. Akhil was ecstatic and holding his arms above his head visibly enjoying the whole thing. Akhil asked me to join him and so i pulled out my hungry cock out of my pants. Although the middle aged guy was down and taking turns at sucking both of us we were busy looking at each other running our hands on each others chest and kissing. Somehow because of the slight smell of alcohol i would say that the kissing was amplified in passion. But suddenly the kissing stopped and we looked down to find out that the guy was done shagging and was in no mood to suck us more as we were anyways more engrossed with each other.

He got up and left without saying a word and both of us were left standing there like fools with our dicks standing out like tree branches swaying in the wind but then all of a sudden he turned facing me and started kissing my neck and slowly started going down searching for my nipples, he was licking my body biting my nipples so well that i had to ask him to stop or else i would cum out too soon. He raced for my navel and then to my leaking cock, he swallowed it completely and started slowly sucking me. This was the low point i guess because i asked him to stop as he was using too much teeth, my dick felt like it was going through a grinder. He didn't feel offended but instead naughtily asked me to show how it was done. That's when i saw his cock in full length i was almost 8 inches compared to my small 6 inch dick. it was so rock hard that you could use it like a stick to beat someone. He ran his fingers through my hair and held my head as i sucked him after a while i got tired squatting on the floor and got up to taste his lips again. I tightly held him his chest pressing on to mine and my hand running over his body, i have to admit i haven't met any guy with a smoother body, he was almost completely hairless except for his pubes and legs. As my fingers reached for his ass-crack he understood my intentions and smiled "Appol ithanno ishtam" (So this is what you like). He turned around spat on his fingers and applied it on his ass and asked me to run my cock up and down the ass before inserting. The alcohol filled spit was enough to lubricate his ass crack and my dick slid in easily. But it must have been a combination of things i was about to cum out in just 7-8 strokes he asked me to pull out and cum and i did and sprayed all over the floor. He was disappointed as he was just getting into the mood and i had cum out too quickly. He asked me to wash my cock in the tap nearby and come back.When i came back i was exhausted and was in no mood for an immediate round 2, "Mood okkea akki tharam alliya" (I'll get you horny again) he said. He bent down and started sucking me off this time he was amazing, no teeth and all i could feel was his slurpy lips gliding over my flaccid cock. Within miinutes i was hard again but he continued sucking and i was lost in that feeling thats when he stopped sucking and started kissing my thighs and gradually going for my ass i was so lost that i didnt even realize what was happening, his tougue reached my ass and i was in the seventh heaven his toungue was brushing against my ass crack adamant on going inside he soon started eating my ass, biting it and licking it slowly he inserted a finger then two. My ass was ready to get fucked and well lubricated he inserted and it hurt like hell but he pulled at my nipples turned my head around kissed me and bent down to spit on my ass some more. he inserted again it pained less but was still unbearable i winched and abruptly pulled his dick out, he took the recovery time to suck me off and bring me back to the mood, as they say it takes time for pain to turn to pleasure. His third attempt was successful he dick was fully inside and the tip of his cock was pressing against my prostate and with each thrust i was arching my head back in ecstasy, he must have fucked me like that for 10 minutes straight and i was sweating like a pig my entire face covered in perspiration. He said he was about to cum so he pulled out and without even touching his dick he came out, cum drops forming a small white lake on the toilet floor.

We got dressed and left only to find that the show was long over and the theater was closed, so we had to jump the gate to get outside. We went straight to his auto and he offered to give me a ride to the bus stand. We exchanged numbers and decided to call and meet again, but since i don't live there that hasn't happened since. Rarely in a lifetime does one meet someone who is as interested to give you pleasure and as he is to receive it, for those of you who don't know the true meaning of Versatile, Please take note. Sex is not a one sided game.

PS: This is not a picture of Akhil, Just some random hot guy.
                               

Orru Kozhikoden Romance

In search of Romance 

Promiscuity is inevitable for the Gay Man in India. I say this because i know it, I am not ashamed to admit it, i do not say this applies to everyone but it is largely true. To give you an idea of what i am talking about lets just take a random statistic. All stats are based on this popular Gay Dating Site abbreviated "PR"

There are almost 6000 gay users on that site registered from Kerala, almost 7000 from just Bangalore, almost 13000 from Delhi and almost 9000 from Mumbai. Since i focus more on my home state let me bring you back to Kerala. On any given day almost 300 people are online. On an average we chat with almost 5 profiles in a day (not necessarily) In a month we could easily meet at least 3 new people from the site. Now i am 27 years old and have been active on the site since i was 18 and by that count i have roughly met almost 396 guys through the site. Now i regard myself to be average when it comes to hunting, I am neither too choosy not too slutly but i definitely do not agree that 396 is the total #skore (pun on the condom brand intended).
The truth is the chances of meeting someone is ever present. May be in a crowded train compartment or standing at a bus stop, taking a leak at a public urinal or just by going to the hospital. I could go on about the weirdest places where i have met guys but that's not my point. Its not necessary that we go to bed with all the people we meet but my point is that the number of people a normal guy meets in real life could easily double the number i previously mentioned.

Sexual encounters whether they are online or in the real world all follow a basic pattern. Online it starts with a "Any Face Pics" message most guys just ctrl+c this message and keep pasting it to everyone online, and if you get lucky this leads to sex. Sex is usually for the heat of the moment A Top guy wants a nice ass and a Bottom guy needs a great cock, they satisfy each other end of story. There is nothing about chemistry here, like they say a hole needs a pole. Real life encounters although they are a bit more entertaining also follow the same fuck and forget style. They usually start with a "nootam" the carefull meeting of the eyes slowly advancing towards each other and they finally after sex end with the "Vaanam" the burst of cum signalling the end of sex. I always preferred and believed this to be the only way till i met this friend of mine called "Mr P"

Kozhikode 2010

Kozhikode is by far the most beautiful city in Kerala and i will always have this soft corner for CLT because that's where i met Mr P for the first time. It was the monsoon in kerala and nights were often rainy and that made going out very difficult but i arrived on a rather pleasant cool windy day in Kozhikode, after spending the day time cruising this mall which is the popular hotspot for gays, and going out for lunch in this even more famous restaurant i though i was done for the day and i just though of going to the beach and calling it a night. But then i remembered my gay-research i had googled all the popular gay meeting places in kozhikode before coming there and i had a huge list at my disposal.

I first started with the all famous Mananchira Square, this park situated right in the center of Calicut, this place was full of guys and went i ventured towards the dark and bushy parts of the park, judging by the suspicious and wandering eyes i could see this place was full of gays just as promised. But i was somehow put off by all the crowd, i felt there were too many watchful eyes and i didn't really find any of the guys interesting, so i moved on to the next gay hotspot on my list.

Crown theater as promised was this forgotten place where gays hung out because it was safe, they only played those movies that no one wanted to watch and hence this ensured low crowds and the proximity to Mananchira Square ensured adequate gay crowd, the movie started and i was seated in the last row next to this old guy who was hell bent on sucking me off, i protested and moved into the adjacent seat, now in theaters like this when someone gets off a chair it is a good opportunity to turn back and look at them that's when i first saw Mr P, he was seated 3 rows in front of me in the central aisle of seats. I instantly got up and sat in the seat beside him, he was this fair guy with long hair perfect face i would say with a cute innocence and a smile that caught my eye in the dark, like magnet my hand went on to his thigh and his on mine, we sat that way and waited till it was interval time that's when i properly saw him in the light, he was spectacularly cute and i must admit for the first time in my life that although my dick was aroused i felt a new kind of feeling you could call it nervousness, my heart was racing and i could almost hear its pounding, I have never felt like that before but i somehow got the guts to talk and asked him point blank what was his role in bed, he was shocked by my question but answered and we spoke for a few more minutes, i suggested we continue the conversation in my room, i was a traveler and i had taken a hotel room which was in walkable distance, and that's when it started raining, we made our way out of the theater and managed to take shelter under the sun-shade of a shop. my body was trembling because it was windy and chilly and i felt the pressing need to kiss him, i controlled myself and we kept going short distances and stopping to take cover from the rain till we reached my hotel, we were both soaking wet when we reached my room.

Usually i instantly attack my prey but with this guy there was something different we gently hugged each other and our lips met as if they were drawn to each other instantly. I don't remember how long we might have kissed but that was the longest kiss ever, mostly i don't like long kisses but i don't know ....all my charts and signals were going haywire that day i loved the way he would kiss me back and i didn't want it to stop, We obvious stopped once in a while to catch a breath, heheh.

We undressed completely and caressed and explored each others bodies and sucked each other off almost as if sucking the other gave us pleasure. Who says perfection is unattainable, that night everything was perfect. We came out of the room almost 2 hours later and i walked him to his bus stop. The next day i didn't need any cruising spots, i didn't need to meet anyone else i was waiting all day for him we met, mated and went for a walk on the beach, somehow in that dark poorly lit beach as we spoke about each other i connected on a very different level with this guy. if yesterday was the perfect sex this was the perfect romantic walk.

Now i am a pessimist, i don't feel two guys can live with each other and in a committed homosexual relationship forever in India, but i share this great bond with this guy till date, we are not a couple, although we love each other we are not committed, we fantasize about living with each other but we are both practical and usually abruptly end that fantasy by asking when the other guy is getting married, we have met several times after that day, Its been 5 years now and he has moved to Delhi but to this day a phone call from him  triggers memories of our romantic tryst in Kozhikode.

PS: Today Crown Theater is renovated turned into a multiplex and is no longer a Hotspot. Don't get beaten up because of me.

7 Weeks in Lahore

Disclaimer:
This post has raw sexual content and contains incidences of bestiality. Bestiality is something that i neither support nor is something that i wish to promote through my blogs. The sole reason this post was written is a friend called Mallik who enjoyed doing this and another friend called Neeraj who loves reading about this. So this post is for guys Neeraj and Mallik. Hope i am able to do justice to the story. 
  
Sexperiences of My Pakistani Boyfriend Mallik

Being brought up in London i was always exposed to a multicultural environment and when i was in boarding school i had a good friend called Mallik. He was a tall lean and charming guy of Pakistani descent, he was a total eye candy at our dorm and most the white guys would do anything to have him. We clicked instantly as we could communicate in Hindustani/Urdu.

Most Indians are too reserved and resentful towards paki's as we have a long history of hatred.The truth is that pakistani guys are hot, they know to maintain strong lasting relationships, they are more friendly than most indians and i couldnt stress this enough they all look damn hott.

Mallik was mind blowing he was a jolly guy who was so popular among girls that you could never guess that he was gay. I was lucky to be his roomie and i was even luckier when he initiated our first sexual encounter. But this post is not about us ....this post is about Mallik's experiences when he visited Pakistan for the first time.

 Pakistan 2004

Mallik landed in Lahore in the hot summer months of 2004. He was almost at once in love with the place, just like india pakistanis love their foreign born brothers. He was almost always surrounded by cousins and family members who were eager to meet him as this was his first time in his parents country. Of coarse the initial week went by visiting relatives and sharing the gifts that he was made to carry from London. By the third week he spent most of the time at his grandmothers house in the rural outskirts of Lahore.

After the initial wave of visiting relatives he was at last left with only two cousins who lived nearby, Irfan and Irshad both were high school students and were the sons of Mallik's fathers brothers. Mallik was overjoyed by the fact that he was able to enjoy time with his cousins ...a luxury he was not able to enjoy as his family was isolated in far off London.

Irshad was a 10 grade student and Irfan his cousins was a 12 grader, both guys were lean and tall exactly like Mallik-they enjoyed going outdoors roaming the county side on their bikes and exploring new places. Irshad's family was rather well off and owned a ranch with almost 15 horses. His father used to train the horses for racing in the middle east countries like UAE and Qatar. Mallik found out for the first time that his cousins were gay when he caught them having sex one night on the roof of Irshad's house. He had visited Irshad's house one night unannounced and he caught them both on the terrace in an intimate position Both of them got embarrassed and raced to cover themselves but as mallik was in no intention of leaving he simply laughed and said i always had a doubt. Irshad the younger guy was Hot Top guy with a 10 inch dick that could make any Bottom beg for sex. Irfan the older guy was the more submissive of the two and enjoyed getting fucked by his younger cousin. Since the ice was broken they started talking about their sexual experiences and spent the entire night on the terrace Mallik talked about all the white guys he had fucked as Irfan and Irshad listened in awe and they told him about all the rustic fun they had in the suburbs of lahore

One particular incident that Mallik got interested in was when Irfan mentioned bestiality , he narrated that he had on many occasions got fucked by a horse. Mallik was awe-struck and baffled, of coarse he had seen videos on the topic but never in his life could he possibly imagine anyone getting fucked by a horse. They spent the rest of the night exploring each others bodies, Mallik was happy that he could have sex in pakistan without any danger of meeting strangers and moreover Irshad was a superb fucker. After fucking Irfan he was still hard and he seduced Mallik into getting fucked and he did it so well that mallik was left wanting for more even after he came out. After another round of fucking they all dressed up again and slept in each others arms till morning.

The next week went by in a similar fashion and they started calling themselves the Love Triangle. But something was always stuck in the back of Mallik's head .....was it possible to get fucked by a horse he definitely wanted to try it, he had seen horses' dicks before they were really long and thick ...almost double the thickness of an average human beings dick and almost 30 cms long when fully erect and had a mushroom top and was always covered in a sheath when not aroused, they leaked precum like rain when the horse was horny and horse sex was violent and very short spanned. So he spoke to Irfan one night and said he wanted to try it. Irfan said sure he could arrange for it but he would have to be patient and that getting fucked by horse wasnt easy.

So one afternoon they went out swimming in the nearby pond  it was a hot summer day and a cool swim was all they needed, after spending some time at the pond they returned to Irshad's out house and went straight to the stable, when they came in they found that only the stable boy -Danish was there. Mallik was tense as he understood what was about to happen but he didnt want anyone other than his cousins to know, but Irshad reassured him that Danish was totally gay and that Danish would help Mallik with his secret fantasy.  Irshad and Irfan disappeared after whispering something in Danish's ears. Mallik was freaking out but had no other choice but to stay calm.

Danish spoke to Mallik about London and as soon as they were comfortable he made an advance, slowly rubbing his hands on Mallik's pyjamas, he untied his pyjama knot and started stoking his cock. After some sucking he whispered into Mallik's ears that he would love to fuck him but mallik didnt seem very interested but Danish took Mallik's cock in his mouth and after a few moments of sucking he said that if Mallik wanted to get fucked by a horse he would need to first satisfy Danish. Mallik instantly knew why the minute Danish poped out his cock, it was a massive 10 inch just like Irshad and it was hard and hungry. Mallik leaned in to suck it almost drawn into it by its size but Danish turned him over and put some oil into his ass and started fingering him. After getting him adequately horny he entered Mallik, his cock almost tearing at the walls of Mallik's asshole. Danish was clumsy and came out almost instantly. Mallik was just getting into the mood and was left unsatisfied but Danish got up and got two huge bales of hay and placed them side by side and asked Mallik to lie down on them. He then went to the horse stable and hot a Azerbaijani Horse called Raftaar. Raftaar was short 4 feet 7 inches and as Danish led him near the bales of hay Mallik could see that the horses dick was protruding out of its sheath. Horses love foreplay and Danish  rubbed Raftaars underbelly and reached for its cock which was instantly growing  hard. He then asked Mallik to lay down on his belly and turn his ass facing the horse he also told him to lay still and not move until it was finished. He then started stroking the horses dick and its mushroom top started oozing precum he took some of the precum and lubed Mallik's ass even more, he then led the horse on to the bales of hay in a way that the horses front legs were on top of the bales of hay and mallik's head was exactly between them, slowly he led the horses dick towards Malliks now gaping ass, mallik was trembling yet holding his ass cheeks apart. Just about an inch went in at the first try and the horse started to violently trust but Danish calmed the horse and tried again almost 4 inches went in and the trusting continued and slowly almost 9 inches went in and mallik felt as though his as was going to tear open. Its amazing how much the asshole can expand if it wants to. Mallik's entire body moved involuntarily responding to the trusts of the horse. Raftaar's Dick all 11 inches were now in malliks ass and the horse started to nicker intensely indicating that it was about to ejaculate and at exactly the right moment Danish pushed down Mallik's ass and the horses dick popped out of his ass and cum sprayed alll over his back. Waves of sensual pleasure went through his body as mallik noticed that he had cum out hands free.

That night he met Irshad and Irfan and asked them where they had gone, they had been guarding the entrances to the stable as they didnt want anyone to find out. Mallik said that the experience was thrilling but that he was disgusted by the smell and the amount of cum Irfan laughed as he knew what that felt like. For Mallik the rest of his holiday went on as usual although his ass was sore for two days after the event. He never wanted to attempt it again but agreed that it was indeed an experience meant for at least once in a life time.

PS: Even if ur disgusted by the post please don't went your anger at the author. Do read the disclaimer at the head of the post again. Dont judge. Be Kind. Thank You

Ende Ammavan

"Pain Demands to be Felt" for those of you who have seen the movie "The Fault in Our Stars" you know what i mean and you know in what context i say this next post

For the past few years i had a good friend called RC ..we were intimate although we rarely had sex, just once in the 3 years that i knew him. He was a silent, introverted and a totally submissive guy who looked more like a lab skeleton than a human being. As a person he was a sweetheart from the day i met him, he never shyed away from expressing his fondness for the ones he loved. He died on 7 August 2014. His death was a massive blow to me and He is the reason i started this blog. This is his story.

Disclaimer: All incidents and facts stated in this post are loosely based on somebodies life. Be nice
Yes some facts have been exagerated and some even greater facts have been softened to suit the reader.

Every night in Krishnankutty Ammavan house was living hell for RC. RC was 17 when he started living with his fathers youngest brother. RC's dad had died when he was just 10 years old and his mother worked as an office staff in a small pvt company. Krishnankutty Ammavan shortened KK was short-tempered divorced and rich and RC had no one else to rely on. Staying with KK was a way to get a better college education and RC's mother was the one who suggested it as she knew she couldnt afford to pay for Raj's education.

RC was just 14 when it first happened. KK usually visited their home when Raj was a teen and since their house was small he was usually put up in Raj's room. RC remembers the first time it happened it was blackmail Raj stole some money from KK's wallet and KK found out and threatened to tell his mother. KK offered a way out he asked RC to make him happy and in return he would not tell his mother. This led to sex ....at first RC didnt even know it was wrong.. even while standing naked in front of KK he aways thought of KK as his uncle not the evil moster that he was. His uncle told him its just like sucking a lollypop and that he should do it to make him happy. But as the days went by KK used one or the other excuse to exploit RC. RC always told me how he wished that first time had never happened.

A lot of RC's miseries have to do with his personality too he was always a shy guy, he never spoke to girls, was always silent, had very few friends and was very studious. This put him in further disadvantage as when RC grew up KK offered to pay for his education. Moving into KK's house was the biggest mistake he made in his short life. In the first few weeks RC prayed that KK had forgotten what had happened in the past and in fact he rejoiced when nothing major happed for a while. But one night KK came home drunk and shouted abuses at RC. He made RC get naked like old times RC protested and started raising his voice....With a bang KK gave a massive blow to his head his eardrums satrted ringing and he felt faint. KK tore off his clothes and made him kneel in front of him, He popped out his thick black dick and spat on RC's face calling him an ungratefull fatherless dog. No matter how badly he wanted it to stop Raj knew he was a skeleton in front of this massive bull of a man. The sheer force with which KK held Raj's hair and forced his dick in and out of Raj's mouth made Raj gag and he vomited a bit onto KK's hardened dick ...Bang came another blow and abuses calling him a useless slut just like his mother.

This went on for a few months till Raj decided to tell his mother that he didnt want to stay with KK and he made excuses that he could study better if he could be put up in the college hostel and so Raj's mother pleaded with KK to pay for his hostel, strangely KK agreed. Years went by without incident and its in his last few years in college that i met him. He was a totally submissive bottom who though that sex was always forcefull and wild and abusive. Though online dating he found out that there were lots of guys like him and by meeting them he experienced more loving and caring relationships. Although he knew that he was gay he never was very active when it came to sex he rarely used the dating site through which i met him and he forever searched for caring a loyal friend who understood his sexuality yet respected him. Sadly he found none.

He got a job after college and started living with his mom again. But as they say people who are poor always remain helpless when his mother suddenly fell sick he had to rush to KK once again for help. One afternoon he called me his voice trembling he said that he didnt want to live anymore and that he was a big shit. I asked him what happened and he told me that after his mom was discharged from the hospital KK had called him home and this time KK was along with his friend both of them beat Raj up black and blue tied him and had violent sex with him and worse still KK took a video of RC getting fucked by the other guy. RC was unaware untill one afternoon KK called him again and when RC objected he showed him the video.

That was the last i heard from Raj he changed his number and as time went by i slowly forgot him. Almost a year later i got a call from the police saying that my number was saved on Raj's phone and that they were calling up everyone on the phonelist for the investigation. They said RC had lost his job and had commited suicide. 

On Koothara Sex, Mundans and FB Wanking !!!

Foreword

I am not a Social reformer I am not a LGBT activist i have no intention to forward anyone's cause other than my own i dont intent to offend anyone but truth be told i am a sex-crazed idiot and i love expressing my self ....my blogs are more on sexuality and and less on the activism front I am this way let me be !!!
(This post contains cheap malayalam slangs and abuses translations will be provided heheh!!!!)

On Koothara Sex 

When i was a kid and just exploring my sexuality i always though that sex was romantic , flowers in bed, light music and flowing curtains ....funny part is that M2M sex in India is mostly the opposite
Gay Sex is short, with very little romance and mostly rude abusive and i cant express this enough Too Short. 
My Hungry Dick has taken me to almost every district in kerala in search of quick sex ...NSA Sex(No Strings Attached) is almost always the norm.
This piece talks about some of my friends and my sex filled experiences and mostly on Koothara Sex ( Koothara means cheap, low class, lacking any decency).

I have always loved the Thrissur Pooram because its loud, captivating and a truly sex filled event. It all happens on the night of the actual Pooram It is understood that on Pooram Day Thrissur is filled with all the Gays of Kerala. Its not just people who identify themselves as Gay but also those who just want their cock sucked coz its pooram and its such a huge celebration.

One of the hottest spots is the Stadium in Thrissur this place is filled with guys and in 2012 when i decided to attend the pooram alone without my straight friends i had sex with at least 6 different guys, but the most defining thing i learnt that night was it was nothing but Koothara Sex , cheap is not the word ...i was there around 8pm and i saw at least 80-100 guys gathered around the stadium entrances most guys huddled around in packs so it was difficult to know what was happening inside i bumped and pushed my way inside a circle only to find 3 guys on the ground kneeling and sucking off the guys standing in the circle one particular man standing  next to me was an auto driver with his trademark uniform he was getting sucked and was visibly drunk he nodded at me as i approached and said to me Itha Sherikyum Pooram (This is the real pooram) and asked me to pull my dick out ....for some reason i did what happened next was shocking he took his cocksucker by his hair the guy who was kneeling and shoved the poor mans face into my dick. i was not hard at the moment but i instantly got hard when i saw the guy was actually enjoying himself .....i was thinking am i really in kerala or Amsterdam , Obviously that was not the only quickie i had that night ...

A good friend of mine code name RN narrated this next incident to me he is this 20 something guy who works in sales and is another sex-starved idiot like me. The incident is narrated in first person account to make it interesting for you. This is what i love most about my blog i hope to tell you so many stories from so many people.

Kollam- Ernakulam Passenger Train 2014 on a hot july evening i was traveling from Kollam to Kayamkulam and the bogie i was in was mostly empty just 4 or 5 couples and some kids, then there was this cute 20 something looking hottie standing near the door, dark slim with all sorts of bands and chains on his body i didnt notice this guy at first but when i didnt see him in his seat for long i just though why not check him out .....i found the smell of cigarettes coming from the toilet so i  assumed the guy was somking. As soon as Munroe Island Station arrived i saw a middle aged man run out of the toilet towards the station ....a few seconds later this 20 something hottie steps out of the toilet and our eyes meet ...he is embarrassed coz i understood  and the toilet floor is strewn with cumm!! i start talking to his to make his loose his shyness coz he is still embarrassed, he says he is a mechanic and dropped out of school after 10 std. he is 21 and is returning from some boozing party at his friends place. after telling him i am also interested at what just happened in the toilet i said i will get down in karunagapally and he quickly agreed to get down along with me ....we start walking together after getting off the train and he says he knows this bushy place where we could have sex i quickly agree ....as we start talking i notice he is still drunk and he uses a lot of abuses in each of his sentences ....i dont mind coz its just a ONS (One Night Stand) he takes me to this bushy place by the railway tracks  a completely secluded spot and he asks me if i could suck his cock i say sure ....he pulls out is cock and says Enthada Kunne Ombada Myre (What happened u Dick Suck my cock u Slut) i oblige and after a while he is tired of the sucking and he wants me to bend so he can fuck me alarm bells are going off in my head but i for some reason let him....what happened next was not sex ....it was rape .....he fucked hard and fast and came out very fast but the worst part was even though it was hott coz he was an expert fucker it felt cheap. I returned home with a sore ass and an insulted ego.

On Mundans and FB wanking

Why are Straight guys these days making it so easy for me to shag ....
FB is full of HD clarity picture of guys posing for likes. What these guys dont realise is that they are making it easier for homosexual stalkers like me to shag.

I have always had a fascination for the Mundu ( the South Indian Dhothi- Kerala Style) people look so hot in it that i get an instant boner every time someone dressed in a mundu passes by.
I dont somehow understand how people could hate it, It looks so damn sexy.
The truth is when someone is dressed in a mundu it so easy to have sex with them....just pull up the mundu and enjoy !!!!!!

Until next Time